By Lauren Evans

Love, in my eyes, lies amongst the simple bunches of flowers my dad would bring home for my mum after work. Tulips, sunflowers, carnations, nestled amongst the 4-pinters of milk and cartons of eggs picked up in a quick-stop top-up Tesco shop. Nothing extravagant – just a thought and a gesture at the end of a long day of work; gratefully received and placed on the mantel for a week. This thought and care filled the vases that filled our cupboards, filled the kettle whacked on for the tea made when my dad came through the door, and filled the house with love.

Those flowers have stuck with me as I’ve grown up – a model for the small and meaningful gestures that have defined my own interpretation of love. Little selfless gestures punctuate the lines along which love and relationships are written, and they are indiscriminate – whether that means a familial, romantic or platonic bond. From a birthday card in the post from a relative you haven’t seen since you were ten, to a ‘How did it go!’ text from your mum after a job interview, our lives are connected by the small gestures that make us kind and caring – and therefore loving. 

Those flowers have stuck with me as I’ve grown up – a model for the small and meaningful gestures that have defined my own interpretation of love

In lieu of Valentine’s Day and all the types of love it encompasses, one may be wondering what gestures (be it small and meaningful, or large and extravagant) can be used to show their appreciation for their loved one? Well, look no further!

It would be remiss, with the threat of Valentine’s Day on the horizon, to ignore the art of romance in the small gestures that define our relationships. For me, love in little gestures resembles my boyfriend making a lovely dinner for us, or bringing me coffee and flowers on a day sorely needed – or even just taking mundane pictures of things in day-to-day life that we think the other will like. Every relationship looks different and what small things are significant to us vary wildly. This Valentine’s Day, it might be thoughtful to think beyond the chocolate and flowers gifting narrative, and to a more tailored date night – be that a homemade dinner, or a cinema ticket to a film they’ve been talking about. Gestures can feel empty without thought and care for your loved one behind them – so maybe thinking outside the box may have more flair!

Platonic love has taken priority over recent Valentine’s gone past; with the significance of the love that we show our friends holding precedence over the couples that hold Spags hostage each year. Whether this love means a Galentine’s Night of cocktails and Bridget Jones, or taking your recently heartbroken mate out for a pint in Thridges, gestures of love extend beyond the romantic world and inform the friendships that make your uni house worth living in. On a down day, my friend came to my room with my favourite flowers, and a big pack of Reese’s pieces – and completely brightened me up. Come the dreaded Feb 14th, it could be nice to finally organise that coffee and chat you’ve been talking about, or invite that love-lorn friend over for a glass (or bottle of wine)! Gestures of friendship and love are synonymous – it is important to show care for your friends, as well as your partner!

I find the individuality of all these gestures to be enheartening; these little actions of happiness that differ from person to person colour the lives of others with kindness and care

Yet, it is familial love that supercedes all in this regard, with the mundanity of the gestures often detracting from their significance. For family, this love could stretch from not cooking chicken because your Vegetarian mum hates the smell, or buying cream eggs en masse during Easter clubcard prices, because your whole family likes them. Whilst oddly specific, familial love means adapting your life in tiny ways for the happiness of your family, even if you don’t realise you’re doing it – a completely unassuming, but powerful manifestation of love. Familial love often goes unrecognised in its recipience as well; perhaps your parents sent you a Tesco Delivery recently, or your grandma sent you money in a card for your birthday. Maybe a gesture such as calling your family for a chat more than you currently do, or keeping track of important family dates (instead of being reminded), could be a thoughtful way to show your love for them this Valentine’s.

I find the individuality of all these gestures to be enheartening; these little actions of happiness that differ from person to person colour the lives of others with kindness and care. Whether it means the flowers that dad brought back for mum once a week, or simply going for coffee and cake with a close friend, Valentine’s Day is about extended little gestures to all your loved ones, and giving them meaning.

Image Credit: Lauren Evans